Be particularly cautious if he's already looking for Spouse #2. Periods of adjustment are to be expected, especially if things heat up.
We all need time to heal and don't want to plunge blindly into the rebound relationship. But extreme discomfort, acting out, and outright interference may signal issues just beneath the surface. We would be wise to observe their reactions, heed their reasoned warnings, and consider their hesitation. If you each have children at different stages -- for example, your kids are in elementary school and his are in college -- anticipate some potential problems if you're hoping for a long-term relationship.
So here goes -- one single mother's set of red flags when it comes to dating divorced men, culled from a very long decade of post-marital dating experience. Do be careful of the divorced man who is only recently out of his marriage.Unless of course you're looking for a fling (like him), looking to experiment (as is he), or looking to get your heart broken. Do pay attention to what your kids think of him, and what his kids think of you.Sign Up for E-News Let’s examine why your happy, new relationship is being disrupted on an almost daily basis by a woman who is legally divorced from your man.Acceptable communications from your boyfriend’s ex should be important to both of them and the key word here is "acceptable".We asked experts—and women who've dated (and even married!
) divorcés—to explain the many upsides to seeing a formerly married man.1. As a marriage unravels, "wives are pretty verbal about what they perceive their husbands did wrong," whether it be too much time at the office or being an awful communicator, says marriage and family therapist Rachel Sussman.Many daters associate divorced people with excess baggage.While there can be some red flags (like if his relationship ended because he was unfaithful), people who've been through a divorce tend to have a deeper, more realistic perspective on marriage than those haven't.These can be great perks," says licensed psychotherapist Tina B. They're also more "willing to share their feelings and tackle the tough topics," says relationship expert Lori Bizzoco, founder of Cupids "Men who are divorced enjoy companionship that they were familiar with having been married before," says La Pronda, 43, who's dated both never-married and divorced men."They don't shy away from a conversation about relationships, marriage, love and intimacy." Adds Bizzoco, "Even though his previous marriage didn't work out, dating shows he's willing to open himself up to love and that he's interested in something serious again."4. Men naturally want to "fix" things and problem solve, life coach and dating expert Brooke Lewis points out, which can translate into a post-divorce desire for a successful new relationship.A new relationship is meant to be between two people.