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Dulux’s new range of white paint, the intricacies of T-shirt printing, whatever the hell is happening with the Kardashian family at the moment – all of these topics are more interesting than what a rich 40-year-old bloke from New York thinks about women.However, here I am, still writing an article about it.There are many answers to the age-old question that seems to haunt anybody in love, about to tie the knot or married for years: “How did you know they were the one?”While this might be an easy question for some to spit out an answer to, for others, there may not be anything magical or thought-provoking behind their reasoning.It could be – but, really, in this case it’s because this article is so hilarious that our morning news meeting dissolved into giggles and we wanted to share the fun. The article is about Dan Rochkind, a 40-year-old Upper West Sider who, the article is keen to highlight, has a “muscular build and a full head of hair”. Gigi Hadid, Hillary Clinton, Morgan Freeman – they’d all fall at his feet.
I’m sure this is meant to make all us beautiful female readers sigh and bemoan the fact this hairy hunk of manhood is not interested in us but, personally, I’d rather have a kind, chubby bald guy as a romantic partner than a part-bear/part-douchebag, so let’s continue undaunted. He spent his thirties dating twentysomething blonde supermodels, stating that, “I met some nice people, but realistically I went for the hottest girl you could find.” However, poor Dan soon realised that there was a drawback to dating people 10 years younger than you purely because they looked good in a swimsuit – “he found them flighty, selfish and vapid". The article continues with some bullshit about how beautiful people are more likely to be in unhappy relationships, and a quote from a random other man about how people who are better-looking are less likely to “pursue advanced degrees, or play an instrument or learn other languages" – which is a pity, because what everyone wants is a partner who can lecture them on consumer legislation in Japanese while playing the oboe, rather than someone who, I dunno, respects them as a human being and takes the bins out 50 per cent of the time. Thanks for the laughs and good luck with your “merely beautiful” wife. The tremor, the rumbling, the disturbance which rippled across womankind yesterday afternoon?It came after the New York Post published an article titled “Why I won’t date hot women anymore”.Meanwhile, online, I could decide between sites with free memberships, such as Plenty of Fish; paid sites with an older, more earnest clientele, such as e Harmony; niche sites such as and Gluten-Free Singles; and many others, all slightly differentiated by price, demographics, and objectives.I signed up for Tinder and Bumble—two apps with simple interfaces that invite users to swipe on pictures of people they find attractive—as well as Ok Cupid.It was as if millions of voices suddenly cried out in terror and were suddenly silenced.