Before you get serious, gauge the baby mama drama level first…and be careful if she’s Almost all single dads are looking for a mom for their kids, as well as a wife of their own.
Kids: Someone who is divorced (depending on his age) most likely has kids, which means he will feel a little bit more comfortable with your kids. Nakedness in broad daylight, those annoying habits, likes clothes all over the floor, the burping and farting you never experience when you’re dating, and really the way the person lives. He’s not bashing his ex every three days, he’s not saying good-bye to his kids and then having that sad look on his face, and he doesn’t have that wounded look that says, “My wife ruined my life.” The never been married guy is fresh, untainted. Commitment: There’s commitment and then there’s commitment. He stood in front of God or a judge and a crowd of people and agreed to commit in writing. Both divorced guys and guys who have never been married can be amazing guys. In other words, I’m not saying one is better than the other.Remember, there are some guys who have never been married who have kids, and there are some guys who have never been married but have dated a lot of women with kids, so they might be used to being around kids. The ability to be domestic, in other words, can he play house? Although, how do I know he wasn’t madly in love and then dumped? A guy who has never done that could have a commitment issue. There are advantages and disadvantages to both guys.That’s great for the kids, and realistically, that’s what they are supposed to do.Many single dads will try to score a happy medium between the two of you.There are also divorced guys who have never had kids. I find that a divorced guy, who has his own kids has a certain ease around children. He might end up really hitting it off with your kids. Is his breakup any less significant because he wasn’t legally hitched? Again, I’m not bashing the guy who has never been married. He could have always wanted to commit and just never found the right person. But the bottom line is, I shouldn’t be defining who someone is based on whether or not they have ever worn a wedding ring. Maybe divorced or never been married should be treated like a category, a checkbox, just like age group, gender, race or religion.
If you are dating someone who hasn’t been around kids much, they might not enjoy it. Or, he might fall madly in love with your kids and realize they want more. Or, maybe he committed (got engaged) and then the girl broke it off. All I’m saying is, the divorced guy proved he had the ability and the willingness to complete and utter monogamy (Then again, he could have been a huge cheater in the marriage.) Plus, maybe he never wants to commit again. The guy who never made that commitment in the first place doesn’t really get it (the commitment, I mean.) Not that that’s a bad thing. Everyone has a different story, and a reason why he ended up divorced or never married. I wish they had a checkbox for the things that really mean the most, like, “Are you going to love me unconditionally? ” and “Will you always cause my heart to beat fast when you walk into a room?
She’ll be involved in your guy’s life, if only just for the kids.
You can’t drive her out completely unless she’s lost all custody rights, and you shouldn’t want to.
The key is in how you communicate your desire for children.
You want to do it in a way that lets him know where you’re at…and that it’s his choice whether or not he wants to be a part of it. CULTIVATE THE FEELING OF HAVING ALL THE TIME IN THE WORLD Now this might seem contradictory to what I’ve said above, but it’s not.
However, there are a lot of single dads out there who can take this overboard and make you a constant #2 in their lives.